Jacques Chirac smokes Cuban cigars in the Bay of Pigs

Oi, good ole Jacques Chirac
he went to Agincourt, then to Avignon,
before the fall of Rome to the Visigoths
ruminated on the Olympic Games
and decided to see a whore of virtue
sent a Scud missile, then decided to call it back,
from the Suez Canal, where the French once fell,
on horseback to Pharaoh's mighty armies,
red-head, frog prince, Kermit and Harry crabs
sinking into a sea of devilry some say
reminds them of the Bay of Pigs
and fiascos and fights for Olympic glory...

So Jacques Chirac says to Sebastian Coe :
We French, we eat zee snails
whilst you have those bangers and mash,
measly fish and chips ... wot kind of cuisine, is it?
So Sebastian says with a wry smile :
Well, Agincourt you lost and so did Waterloo
Where is Napoleon now, if not in a zoo
astride Animal Farm where we battled for glory
the Queen of Spain was there, so you cannot
retreat into the Garden of Eden
and raise an army with the Jack of Spades
who is now with Gordon McQueen
and the Queen of Scots
waiting to wage battle against the Red Dragon.

Oi, Sebastian, wot iz thou talking about?
I am just making a wry statement on black rye and blue cheese
Forgive me my wryness, I was born with a wooden spoon,
not a golden goblet with French curtains
and the blood of Marie Antoinette
lingering in the shadows of Death
The French had their revolution,
we had ours too,
you lost your kings and your queens
We have the Jack of Spades
back in Buckingham Palace
disguised to tease the tinpot dictator
who now rules Animal Farm ...

So Mr Pilkington returns home
and Jacques Chirac grumbles at the back of a Cadillac
driven by vincent van patten
who invites him to a casino up on a bloody hill
to play poker with the Queen of Tarts ...

Jacques declines,
I am no tart, he retaliates,
and vincent wonders who's the Fool of Burgundy
and the sinner of Avignon
who's the Beast and who's the Red Dragon
and who should go for a bloody liposuction
just who has Authority to raid and reign
a bloody republic that masquerades as the Middle Kingdom ...

In 1819, St John appeared to Polycarp
who had a colony of puffin penguins
in a brazen sea of ale
nothing to show besides works of mercy
no grand theory to promote or justify one's glory
just a happy spirit and a generous soul
that could be quite bold
if forced to defend
a Realm of Innocence ...

Jacques Chirac now flies to the Bay of Pigs,
after the tsunami hits the west of Java
we must float our diamonds
and wear all our baubles
lest terrorists massacred our fine Bastille
and though German shepherds remain dumb
in this glorious fight for truth
the French must not refuse a chance
to regain some proof of sanity
from the waters of the Red Nile
in 1865
when the Gates of Hell
became entwined with pride and prejudice
and made empires bend with grief
over a bloody canal
carrying black gold to Tiananmen Square
where there's so much liberty
they hang liberty flags in the Imperial Palace
to signify a warming of ties
with the yankee doodles of the Gulag Archipelago ...

Now Jacques retreats to Rome
and begs for indulgences
whilst smoking a Cuban cigar
in St Peter's Square,
fearing an unholy Inquisition
beyond the reach of the Spanish Armada
where Turkish wrestlers wage battle with Red Guards
from Tianamen Square
quarrelling over Sinkiang's slavery
for a barrel of opium ...

Polycarp goes to Hollywood to meet Mr Magoo

Polycarp went to Hollywood one fine summer
to meet Mr Magoo in Beverly Hills
they arranged to meet at the Hall of Fame
but poor old rolypoly Polycarp
landed up in a limousine in Las Vegas
mistaking a casino for a castle on the hill
and a poker for an umbrella
a dime for a bouquet of flowers
a waddling duck for a steaming bowl of bakut teh...

Oh, dear me, sighed Polycarp,
where on earth have I landed,
as Mr Magoo drove all the way to Saigon,
mistaking it for Beverly Hills
in his grand old Studebaker called the Pink Cat.

Then a grasshopper hopped into Mr Magoo's car
and nudged him back
all the way to Istanbul,
where he met a funny green frog called Hermit
had a blueberry rice pudding near the Blue Mosque
and then floated all the way to California
where he met a befuddled man with plumpy cheeks
that almost reached the floor!

Ah, Mr Magoo, you're quite late you know,
said an irate Polycarp
Do you know that I spent seven months
waiting for you in a casino
Oh, dear me, said Magoo, apologizing profusely
I never gamble, old chap,
I made a fortune making butter cookies
for the Queen of Spain
you loved them so much
she gave me a diamond to last me till eternity ...
The Queen of Spain gave you a diamond
for making silly butter cookies for her?

Oh, yes, dear chap.
Her husband was Prince Philip
and he had died sometime ago
and they used to have but one happy moment
eating butter cookies whenever they danced
cheek to cheek in the Royal Palace ...

What a strange people the Spanish are!
O yes, that's why they had the Inquisition
and called it the Mad Hatter's Tea Party!

Oh, now I see, exclaimed Polycarp so loudly
that a fat nenek in her kebaya fainted
as both Polycarp and Mr Magoo
went for a round of golf
with tennis racquets
to the amazement of Lucille Ball and Mr Mooney
who happened to be passing by on an ostrich
pulled by the Green Goblin!

A Kingfisher sat on a Beanpole

a kingfisher sat upon a beanpole one fine day
observing the weather, sniffing the wind
as it whistled softly past
watching the dewdrops dry up
beneath the thin razor lallang blades
as the purple bougainvillae bloomed
in an empty field far upon the botak hill
with a barking dog
that yelled like a man
every time an officious bystander
decided to walk up the hill
and chew gum and spit it out
as if the world were mad with grief
grief from the killing fields of Babylon
where mother child and soldier boy
are killed every day
to satiate a nation's lust for power
a nation's desire to prove its superiority
white, black, coloured, yellow
birds of prey, animals gone wild,
men gone grey with age and dying of aloneness
in a many wintered land
where the free strings of a glassy eyed kite
once brought an old Jew from Babylon
to show the way to Truth

the kingfisher in his blue ribboned glory
did not cut red ribbons for a white lady
neither did he sing out of tune periodically
he sat alone and observed the world
without parroting a lie
or kissing a baby to show his compassion
no, it sat alone and when the heat became too hot
it flew away like a dart
into the bamboo bushes
without hurting a fly
without glorifying a lie
without killing a man and leaving his wife to die
in a field away from Golgotha
but quite near to hell
and then calling it
Democracy in a Field of Locusts
to justify their sin
and erase their guilt
before the statue of Liberty
in Alcatraz ...

Shackles and men, men of shackles
enslaved to their white irons
in the valley of Death
O, Death : how thou deceives
the mighty warriors of the world
throwing them into hell
and making them believe
it is just a long route
to paradise ...

Polycarp and Mr Boozie the otter

Once upon a time, there was a plump penguin called Polycarp. He lived alone in a small whitehouse by the sea. Every morning, when the sun came up, he would waddle along the coast with an otter called Mr Boozie, and go and fish for his morning breakfast. Since Polycarp was very blur and sometimes forgot to throw in his fishing line, poor old Mr Boozie would then put on some worms and tapioca bits and throw in the fishing line. Then they would sit with dark glasses and whistle and wait for the fish to be caught. Polycarp would often burst into song. His favourite was Burong Kaka Tua, which he sang with much gusto, but often out of tune, flapping his wings, and dancing the foxtrot in a silly manner, turning round and round, making poor old Mr Boozie feel quite dizzy actually. Many people - both man and squid alike - would then walk by, making funny or rude comments.

Oh, how strange these creatures are? A silly old penguin with dark glasses and a baseball cap, singing out of tune some strange Malay song, [sometimes with a black and white sarong], and just lazing by the sea.

Polycarp was oblivious to all this, preferring to dance and sing as happily as he could, because whether he sat alone glumly or stayed in his little hut the whole day, people would still talk and make rude comments on him or his lifestyle.

Oh, they would say, Polycarp has no friends except Mr Boozie. He is a loner, he is a failure, he is not very smart and not handsome enough. Better not get close to him or he will infect you with a virus - and then you will become just like him.

Mr Boozie - they would not dare comment on, because he had a fierce temper, and had a habit of chasing everyone who said anything about him all the way down the river and forcing them to do a bungee leap down the cliffs into Siberia! And if he was with his dearest friend Polycarp, they would stand a mile away and peep at them through binoculars, trying to figure out what an otter had in common with a penguin who couldn't swim [Polycarp feared the water you see].

Sometimes, even when it was not raining, the two friends would drink a blue drink called the Blue Lagoon, and imagine themselves to be in paradise, because despite all they tried to do to be perfect, people and animals always thought that there was something wrong with them.

One fine day, a whale appeared near the coast, and poor old Polycarp jumped up and down in glee so much that fell off the pier and landed onto the back of the whale, who then took him for a ride in the seven seas.

Mr Boozie the otter went quite berserk the next day, hunting for his penguin friend up and down the Valley of Fish and Carp, because he knew that Polycarp could not be alone for too long since he didn't know how to cook or take care of himself or fight against his enemies [there were many he had].

One fine day, seven months later, when Mr Boozie the otter was asleep, he had a dream in which Polycarp appeared to him and said : Mr Boozie, a kind whale has taken me on a ride all over the seven seas. I think he is bringing me to paradise, but if not, i will see you later ...

The following day however, as Mr Boozie was sitting alone fishing for his breakfast, Polycarp appeared from the waters, grinning with a few crabs and lobsters and prawns. Hey, Mr Boozie, look what I've got from the seven seas. Prawns, crabs, and lobsters, enough to feed us for a month - he said, pulling a net out of the water.

Mr Boozie stared and stared at his fat friend. Oh, dear, what trouble have you gotten into this time, Polycarp?

Nothing lah, you silly fellow. You worry too much about me. Life is too short for worry.

Is it? asked Mr Boozie, amazed at Polycarp's new found strength.

Yes. The Whale told me everything about life. He has to dive and avoid being killed by men everyday, ships nearly wrecked his life. So every day he has to be on high alert. He is thankful for every day he lives, because in the deep seas - the corals are so beautiful that he doesn't need anything to cheer him up. Orange and red and blue stones. Funny clownfish giggle endlessly near the emerald waters off the Sea of Japan. There is a performance every full moon when the night is filled with sparkling stars. You must go there one fine day.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps - sighed Mr Boozie. Just when he thought he understood his silly penguin friend, he found him to have become a bit different.

I suppose we all can never know ourselves fully ... and that is why the sea and all its creatures are always a bit more delightful than the land with all its stony buildings. In the sea, even a penguin like Polycarp can feel at home.

Tell me Polycarp, how did you learn to swim?
Oh, Mr Wally Bucket did a fast turn, and I slipped from his fins, my fat cheeks got got in his tail, and as I struggled, I fell into the waters, and just floated upwards till Mr Wally Bucket put me gently on his top fins.

Oh, dear, what a strange way of learning to swim, said the otter to the penguin, and both of them then put on a great barbecue of butter lobsters, drunken prawns and hairy crabs, and invited all the animals around to feast upon the food - for few of the animals had ever eaten a butter lobster or a hairy crab before. None had even tasted a drunken prawn!

Harriet Ponampulam and her English poodle

Harriet Ponampulam had an English poodle
which she kept in a little kennel
at the back of her garden
just beneath her jackfruit tree
every evening her maid and her would take
the english poodle for its walks
along the narrow streets of Seletar
streets where the flame trees
dropped their orange petals onto the gravel
making a swishing sound
as if dancing on tight ends
and tiptoing to a final graceful end
Her maid Melly Muthu
used to hold the English poodle
with a very thin narrow leash
ticking it with an ugly stick
each time it did not walk too straight
You English dog, you know English,
you walk straight,
you understand, dont show me
your evil crooked ways,
dont bark back to me in German,
with your silly barks of dissent
against caterwauling cats on
hot red roofs ...

one dark day, when the clouds were black
harriet had a fever and told the maid
to take the dog on a spin on her own
then she lay back on her bed and rested

Melly Muthu, for once the mistress.
dragged, pushed, barked orders
at the English poodle
more strict and stentorian
than Harriet herself ...

This way, you stupid dog!
Not so long to ease yourself, you black thing!
Then she giggled and became hysterical with delightt
as Harriet Ponampulam back home
had a hazy dream about a dog becoming a man
and taking over the whole world
like Hitler did in 1942 ...
making Mortal Man bow down like sheep
and run up hills and graze on meadows
silently, like dumb animals,
bred purely for their meat and wool ...

Oh, dear, said Harriet, waking up in a fit,
where is that silly maid of mine, she wondered,
gazing out as slowly the rains began to fall ...

Meanwhile, the maid had tied the English poodle
to a tall rain tree, and as the rain fell,
she went to a nearby minimart
to have some mango juice, and read a paper,
and call her friend in Trincomalee,
laughing in merry gaiety,
oblivious to the enslaved dog
beneath the old rain tree ...

Then she put on some knuckle dusters,
came back with her leash,
and with fiery rebuke dragged her English poodle home,
mocking it with rhetoric and brittle dialogue :
oh, how fine it is to be a human
in a very inhuman world
where i am always a bloody slave, she said ...

Oh, where have you been, Melly,
gasped Harriet Ponampulam
as she saw her at the gate with her English poodle,
which barked and growled so fiercely
that it seemed almost like a tiger ...

What is wrong with my English poodle,
why is it barking so ferociously, she asked ...
Did somebody knock into it or throw stones at it?
asked poor old Harriet Ponampulam,
seeing it slink into the garden,
more like a thief.

No, Madam, your English dog is okay,
it just thinks it is an English man,
so i had to make it understand
it was not a man
but just a silly, stupid dog, said Melly Muthu,
before releasing the dog into the garden
and running into the house
to prepare dinner for her mistress ...

And as the kwali was struck
and hot coconut oil thrown in,
the red raw sun suddenly appeared
as the dark ugly drizzle was silently exorcised
and slowly puffy whitish clouds began to fill
the blue sky where once
aliens used whips and guns
to deride and denounce native fowls
into an unholy silence
on No Clucking Day ...

Dorian Gray and Eternal Youth

Dorian Gray sat in the drawing room
watching the wrath of the oceans
the marquis of Queensberry
was feasting on roast beef
denouncing Beauty
as an evil to the youth

Socrates questioned this fact :
if Beauty is blasphemy
then what of life should we be proud of?
Deceit, hypocrisy, worship of stars, cowardice?

So Dorian Gray stood up for once
and walked down the cul-de-sac
from Dublin to London to Paris
in search of his elixir :
to be or not to be
forever young
in a field of hay
which burns as the fire of 1666
as Gothic cathedrals become black
with a fiery rebuke from Nature

Nero fiddles as Rome burns
laughing hysterically
as pious men with a purpose
try to moderate Beauty
with a divine purpose
only to be burnt at the stake

As Socrates refuses to budge
and admit Beauty is a curse
Dorian Gray returns to Athens
to seek the solace
of the oracle of Delphi
only to learn that she too is dead
withered in a flimsy cotton gown
because the emperor in Rome
couldn't fathom her prophecies
and assumed she was mad
for speaking the truth
and warning him against
gluttony and corruption
and enslaving virile men
in chains and whipping them
into submission to a treachery
they rebelled against
on account of their love for beauty ...

the fat woman on the MRT

i once saw a fat woman on the MRT
headed for bukit batok
who insisted that it went to Lorong Chuan
and refused to budge, this way or that.

the driver moved the train with grim precision
in an orderly strict fashion
refusing to budge a single inch off the tracks
wait for lorong chuan to be opened,
wait for it to be opened,
he said on and on and on ...

The fat woman insisted on her way nevertheless
and rolled her fat watermelons down the aisle
imagining herself the bowling champion of the world
slim, attractive, svelte, with all the right moves
with bright lights shining upon her eloquence
or lack of it without the bright lights

then a skinny man with a curved moustache
entered the train with a newspaper
and observed the fat woman running up and down
waving to everybody, bowing several times
smiling broadly to stranger, tourist
child and adult, disabled, athletic,
orange, green, pink and yellow, brown
post and human and smiling advertisement

finally in a show of contempt,
he put out his skinny leg and tripped the fat woman
who went sprawling down
she knocked her head, her hair was crumpled
yet she got up finally
grabbed her watermelon, sliced it in two,
and as the skinny man looked on with glee
she prepared her coup d'gras
and skimmed watermelon wedges
over his haughty head
and a couple round his thin neck
as the passengers laughed nervously
and eventually broke out in applause
as the train finally came to a halt
in jurong east
and all was fine for that day at least ...

Autumn Leaves

I walked in a field of autumn leaves
and saw orangeflame petals
dropping on the ground
yet it was not autumn

I saw a red squirrel climb onto
an old tembusu tree
and hunt for nuts in an area of darkness
and yet it was not autumn

I saw a starless sky dripped with midnight blue
and a streak of white across the sky
as a fighter pilot searched for his lost love
and yet it was not quite autumn

I saw an old lady with a basket of eggs
limping down the stairs with eyes of red
and yet it was not autumn

I saw a boisterous festive midnight crowd
run amok with glittering gifts
and plastic flowers and plastic smiles
with painted faces and painted masks
and yet it was not autumn

I heard a man scream obscenities
from a tower he'd erected himself
as the madding crowd ran away in fear
not wanting to know the naked truth
and yet it was not autumn

When I last saw autumn
she was fair and beautiful
there was no winter of discontent
nor summer of disguised content
no ugly sumatran squall
could spoil the grandeur of her orange splendour
No hailstone could wreck her fine, fine locks of ginger
rising freely against the wild wind
No summer heat could dry her up
into a desert of waste

No, autumn was once beautiful
and soft and silky and alluring
She once had the charm to captivate me
now she lies desolate and abandoned
in a wasteland of ugly leaves and thorns
twisted beyong recognition

Nobody remembers her
now that she has lost her orange splendour
- not even summer, her eternal companion

She dies alone, withering with every passing cloud
oblivious to the sound and fury
of the naked landscape.

Prince Edward and the Silencing of a Mob

the mobs were mad and unruly
screaming end to corruption and hypocrisy
awaiting a prince of some sorts
to sail into the dark waters of deceit
and save the wasted land
from the whore of babylon
prince edward, he rode a pink dolphin
from Westminster Abbey
strumming on a volin
singing Figaro, Figaro, Figaro
he landed on Patmos
saw St John with beard and blood in his eyes
So whither shalt I go, he asked :
strange that an english prince
should speak to a Jew
after england got kicked out by portugal
in Auschwitz ...

Oh, we're confusing football with war
and politics with religion
and war with peace and blood with stew

i shall sail to the most corrupt land in the world
said prince edward, stroking his pink dolphin,
uttering little choice words of encouragement,
riding up and down the foamy waters
of a blackening sea
as men of all colours rioted in the streets of Mandalay
and the crowds grew restive

prince edward, his pink dolphin decked
near the shwe dagon's golden spires
he stood up in his royal garb
and hoping to stem the flow of dissent
tried to make peace with the belligerent crowds
but the mass of demonstrators drove him
screaming at his royal leanings
till he sat sunken in an old sampan
and reached the spratley islands
observing the sea turtles ride out into the storm
leather backed with fearless eyes
as he sat alone and bewildered
at the loss of empire and the desire of dissent
the lockjaw oppression of a colonial outpost
which despite its poverty and shackled posts
still refused to pay homage
to royalty on a barge
a prince of the sea
desiring liberty for George Orwell's Burma
sunk in a desperate wail of simmering discontent
reading beads of 666
evoking the stars to show the way
unable to shake off the manacles of slavery
by military men bent on
killing the rising tide of an encroaching ocean
desiring liberal white sands on a pure beach
where once men swam
with sturdy strokes towards a divine destiny ...

A Saxophone sat in Picadilly Square

A saxophone once sat
stoic and stern
in olde Picadilly Square
before the sun was up
after a night when the midnight sky
dripped of redblood and squared triangles
oozing with a crystal light
that seemed to be from a void deck
cabbined and cribbed
in a lock of hair
not quite flowing or silky

in stilled and silenced corners
it attempted to jump
first onto the stern of a floating yacht
then onto the yacht club's wheel of fortune
onto anything remotedly moving
evoking a nostalgia of bright jazzy lights
full throated voices in pink lighted bars
with a free flow of absinthe and vodka
with dancers on high heels
and Greek sailors throwing wine goblets
[though not of hemlock]
onto a fireplace of white and black
a glazed artificial colour
on a glazed artificial site
where lions sat on the back of a serpent
roaring in disgruntled fury
their paws muzzled to the legs
of a stoic stony Sphinz
that was not of Giza ...

in a silent corner
i saw that old saxophone sit
and in a silenced corner
i saw it die one day
its gold drifting onto the mud and gravel
of a discordantly arranged piece of music
that was later discovered to be
a seismograph ...

in praise of liberty

liberty offers you
a ride in the wild wind
a soft view through rose tinted glasses
in the fields where
no zebra crossings blacken your path

it offers you the right of passage
to wreck your life
or make another's life pristine
with beautiful gifts and little summer meals
whilst playing the saxophone
and dreaming of a winter holiday

liberty is not a magic wand
but makes magic out of a harlot's den
freeing you from the slavery
of butchery, fornication and repressed desires
offering you a grand avenue
where you can walk in peace, sing in the dark,
get yourselves wet in the middle of the night
yet dry up feeling
it's the beginning of a day in heaven

liberty is not a golden spoon
nor is it a golden calf which the world worships as god
it is a pure gift to a pure people
but without the silver wrapping and the red ribbob
it is the right to desist
it is the right to insist
on your right of passage
on the elevation of your status
from runaway slave
to upgraded rugby player
from a downtrodden dog
to an upgraded human
living in simple quarters
yet insisting on
the right to speak at the appointed time
in a casino of twinkling lights
especially when the deck of cards
are turned upside down
and poker becomes
a hooker's purse
promising a day in Alcatraz
and an iron curtain in your cell
at midnight,
without a friend or a book
or a meal of hainanese chicken rice ...

the squirrel and a tiger

once there was a little squirrel
that lost its father in a hunting accident
his mother brought him up
well and good, teaching it right ways and all
giving him the best of nuts, the ripest of acorns
nice little bits of hay made from the fresh sun
plums and fruit from all over
to make up for the lack of a father
the squirrel had but one friend
a tiger despised by all
for its wild ways and inhuman touch
but the squirrel used to ride on the back of the tiger
humming happy tunes
mistaking him sometimes for its father
the tiger was bold, strong and fierce
nobody dared disturbed the squirrel
when it nestled in the fur of its friend
they camped, went hunting and fishing together
in winter, the squirrel saved up meat
in little neat bundles hidden in the trees
with bits of salt to keep it alive
one day, the tiger was hunted for its skin
and tied and taken to a river far away
as the hunters prepared to kill it
the other animals told the squirrel
ha, ha, ha - your cruel tiger is dead
he has died in the wild
he has abandoned you
and poor squirrel did a bungee jump
into the river next to its acorn tree
nearly drowning,
when suddenly the tiger broke himself loose
and came raging through the midnight forest
seeing squirrel, he jumped into the river
in a desperate attempt to save its little friend
as squirrel opened his eyes in fear
he saw his tiger and said :
tiger, the other animals said you had abandoned me,
that's why i jumped
because death was better than a life of loneliness and fear
as tiger held him and brought him to the banks of the river,
he made a vow never to abandon his friend again
but it was too late
squirrel died that very night
and the next day tiger rampaged through Animal Farm
killing, slaughtering all the other animals
before killing all the hunters as well
before roaming into a desert in the far north
never to be seen again
wild, restless, gloating, proud and merciless
for squirrel had tempered its ugliness into beauty
and made a jungle
into paradise ...

Repression Square

In New York, just next to its
statue of liberty
i saw Repression Square
where rosa parks once sat
in a segregated seat in a segregated crossing
a little black dot in an otherwise very white place
with bugles and ceremonies and bright flags
all boasting about liberty and its grand theories

In Repression Square,
you do not see pink goblins bloating
with overexposure to the sun in summer
red sails do not sail in a summer of discontent
[slaves hold them back in case the heavens fall]
the cotton fields once plagued with pests
now are plagued with another pest
a self-righteous pest that rides
on the bovine back of a bison
with a white curved horn that is worshipped
as if it were some aphrodisiac from the old Orient
[which incidentally too was once just a piece of cake]

Oh, New York, New York
Liza Minelli's great town
it was so great once even kings worshipped it
kissed its pavements with tired red lips
for not sending them back to the ghettoes
of Berlin or Auschwitz or the black hole of Calcutta
Here history is taught so well
that kids dont even know their history well
the cradle of history is not Mesopotamia
but New Orleans
the first civilized cities were not Mohenjo Daro and Harappa
but Las Vegas and Los Angeles
not because of any lack of tools
but because they were just American cities
and which country has a better foreign policy
or a better way of going to war [and messing up]
but America, grand old America
and New York is its citadel, its temple,
with its gambling dens, its cheats, its mafias,
Wall Street is the most beautiful cathedral in America
it promotes charity on a Russian roulette table
meant for street urchins who pick their food
everytime gold nuggets fall down from heaven

Oh, New York, New York
Repression sure aint like the art of love here
in the grandest of all temples of doom
west of the Suez Canal ...

Martin Luther : False Prophet or Saint?

Martin Luther was an Augustinian monk who by his defiance to the Catholic Church and its promotion of indulgences to enter the kingdom of God started what is known as the Protestant Reformation. He lived during a very turbulent period in Christian history - from 1483 to 1546 - a time when corruption was rife both in the secular and Christian world.

Many people today, both Catholic and Protestant, have very vague ideas about the origin of the Reformation and about Luther itself. The Catholic Church has had a very chequered history, filled with great stories of marytrdom and glory. It also unfortunately had popes who were great sinners and used the papacy to create wealth for themselves and their families. Nepotism. In the medieval ages, for instance, the popes had extraordinary power and put in cardinals who were related to them, many of whom had no theological training. It was a sad day for the church, it is admitted. Sin crept in and sometimes tradition overwhelmed the true spirit of the Church, which was to live the Gospel, and make its spirit come alive, in ordinary life.

However, Pope John Paul 11 did recognise the sins of the Church and asked the world to forgive the Church for its errors. Nepotism, greed, doctrinal abuse - and cruelty to the pagans, refusal to acknowledge the discoveries of Copernicus and Galileo, the sins of the Spanish Inquisition, etc. He also made "theological mileage" by signing a concord with the Lutheran Church - reaffirming the often forgotten Council of Trent of 1545.

Now who was Martin Luther? He was a brilliant scholar, who one day during a lightning storm, prayed to St Anne [yes, he believed in prayers to the saints and Mary] and asked her to deliver him from the storm, promising to become a monk and serve God if she did. He was saved and then entered a monastery and served God as an Augustinian monk. A trip to Rome however disturbed him greatly as he saw the priests and cardinals living in riches whilst the poor peasants suffered. The pope at that time [the sadly misguided Pope Leo X] was also selling indulgences which he "claimed" would be enough to give one passage to paradise - but was mainly to raise funds for the renovation of St Peter's Basilica. Of course, it was absurd. Buying holy pictures or crosses is mere merchandising. Any fool can see that! But the people of that time were largely peasants, illiterate. Only the clergy and nobility had any education worth speaking of. Luther, being a brilliant scholar, rejected this idea, and posted his 95 thesis objecting to the practice on the doors of Wittenburg Cathedral in Germany, starting off a round of quarrels with the papacy which led to the eventual break of Rome. He argued against what he considered the greed and worldliness of the Church at that time and rejected the use of indulgences as a gateway to paradise.

Protestants should note too that Luther never hated the Virgin Mary. In fact, Luther in his Wittenburg thesis also rejected any blasphemy against the Virgin Mary and said that one should ask for pardon for any evil said and thought about her. In his 1531 Christmas sermon, after leaving the Catholic Church and its authority, he said that Mary was the "highest woman and noblest gem in Christianity after Christ. She is nobility, wisdom and holiness personified. We can never honour her enough. Still honour and praise must be given to her in such a way as to injure neither Christ nor the Scripture."

In another sermon after his Wittenburg thesis, he said : "The veneration of Mary is inscribed in the very depths of the human heart."

So Luther had no problems honouring the Virgin Mary or endorsing her veneration. He did however emphasise the teachings of Christ and was against putting Mary on a pedestal to either compete with or dominate the Christian faith. In that, he was right. The problem that seems to confuse Protestants today is their belief that Catholics worship Mary. It would be absurd for Catholics to do so. In any way, what does worship constitute? The Catholic mass on Sundays proclaim the word of God - with two readings, one each from the Old and New Testament. The sermon centres round the Gospel. Catholics don't say the rosary during the Sunday service. The rosary recitation is a purely private matter for those who have a devotion to Mary. If the focus of Sunday mass and the weekday masses are on Christ and his messages - of truth, and unconditional love for God and our neighbour, on forgiveness and the need to avoid hypocrisy of all sorts - if Catholics bow down in reverence to the Cross which is a symbol of Christ's death and resurrection - where is the worship directed to? God and Christ of course. Protestants should be open minded and observe a Catholic service on Sunday to better understand who Catholics worship.

Who did Luther worship? Are his tirades against Jews and the pope of his time Christian in the purest context? Is it not filled with hatred? Christ refrained from condemning even the worst sinner of his time. Zaccheus the tax collector, a sinner till he met Christ, was forgiven and repented without a single condemnatory word. That is the essence of love - not to condemn or love or preach a man-made philosophy that promotes the philosophy of one man's dubious interpretation of the Bible or a book of the Bible or a philosophy based on one single line, that can be quoted out of context.

The phrase "justification of faith alone" means if one has faith, that alone can save one. It is ludicrous to the ordinary Catholic who has been brought up to perform works of charity and compassion and kindness, acts of love based on his faith in God - as a form of gratitude, and to bring others to sense God. In any case, faith has to be activated in deeds and actions which demonstrate the message of Christ - "unconditional love". A person can be conversant with all the books of the Bible, and be able to memorise and quote large tracts of it, but if his actions are filled with self-righteousness, hatred, and condemnatory statements about every other person or denomination or religion or race, only a fool would associate him with goodness or virtue, or as a disciple of Christ. They would avoid him at all cost!

But Luther was a complex man, often misunderstood, even by the Germans of his time. Was he perfectly Luther right in all he said and wrote?

Luther was right insofar as objecting to the sale of indulgences to gain entry to the kingdom of God. Pope Leo X was clearly wrong. There was corruption and greed amongst the clergy too. Luther had every right to question this. Many clergymen were living lives of luxury, pomp and pageantry as the peasants suffered. It was time for a renaissance in spiritual matters, to make the kingdom of God more real - on earth. The Church had grown too far apart from the sufferings of the common man, who feared God, without actually knowing what the Bible taught. Hence, whatever Rome dictated became obligatory. This was and cannot be the way to convert sinners, or to retain saints or even to live within the confines of society - always perpetually indoctrinated with strange man-made philosophies which do not interpret the Bible with coherence.

Unfortunately, it happened. So Luther had to speak out forcefully, and he did. He was fortunate too. Guttenburg had just invented the printing press - thus making it easier to disseminate his works in a much broader way than in the past.

But what many people do not understand is plainly this. Luther also believed the pope was the Anti-Christ and wrote a tract called 'The Babylonian captivity of the Church.' He interpreted Great Babylon in the book of Revelations as the Catholic Church! Rome was built on seven hills. Well, so is Moscow, and so was the original capital of Babylon, Iraq today! So who is to judge? And Great Babylon today is in ashes, completely ruined. Not Rome. So Luther was wrong historically and factually.

Only Christ is divine and has the authority to judge who is to go to Heaven, and who is to go to hell. And even Christ did not claim to know when Judgement Day was. He said only his Father in Heaven knew! So what is the basis of Luther's prophecy that the pope was the Anti-Christ of the Revelations and the Jesus would come to judge the world in his day, in the 16th century. His prophecy turned out to be false. Jesus Christ did not come to judge the world in the 16th century and cast the Pope into hell. The papacy which he so hated still survives today in fact!

Even if Catholic doctrines appear strange to the Protestants of today, Protestants must understand that their doctrines also appear strange to Catholics today - who find Protestant hatred for the Pope and all things Catholic completely unbiblical. Christ preached a religion that promoted love of God and our neighbour surely, not this form of virulent hatred, which seeks to demean. Moreover, to the ordinary Catholic, it inconceivable that a church can be divided into so many denominations within itself and yet claim to believe in one God! To the Catholics, the true Church should be united, not divided. The Pope may sin or commit crimes or be corrupt, but it is for God to judge, not a mortal man, like Luther. Luther himself will have to face God on Judgement Day. Neither the Pope nor Luther can claim to be infallible or without sin. Luther himself was obsessed with his own sinfulness and wanted very much to be sinless. But he failed. So who was he to say Pope Leo was the anti-Christ.

Luther's hatred for the papacy is also very disturbing. Once, when he blessed a group of believers, he said : "May the Lord fill you with His blessings and with hatred for the Pope."

Was Luther mad? He was asking God to fill the people with hatred for the pope whilst simultaneously asking for his blessings!

It is this strange contradictions in Luther's actions and writings that have confounded Catholics for the past 500 years. His hatred for the papacy has also been responsible for the hatred Protestants have for ALL Catholic Popes, believing ALL of them are the anti-Christ.

It is this kind of severe judgementalism that can prove dangerous and stir up religious animosities, that can cause strife and unhappiness in our Christian communities today, which instead of quarrelling amongst themselves, should be the first to promote peace and unconditional love today, in a very wicked age.


The Muslims and Arabs had a great respect for Pope John Paul 11 - who said nothing bad or inflammatory against their religion, and strove to seek a better understanding of their religion, whilst attempting to build bridges with their leaders in the Middle East, and making peace with the Jews and their leaders in Israel. Did any Protestant leader of the twentieth century even attempt to do that?

I leave the reader to answer that question himself. When Pope John Paul 11 went to forgive his assassin in his prison cell in 1981, the world saw how an act of forgiveness for one's enemy should be done - for Christ himself has asked us to forgive our enemy. This is what I mean when I say Luther's philosophy 'justification by faith alone' becomes meaningless when it is not followed by acts of love or forgiveness. We can all memorise the entire Bible, and even work miracles in the name of Christ - but without love - it is meaningless. It is hypocritical. Faith must be the prelude of acts of love - and love includes charity and compassion and forgiveness and kindness, the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Love is not self-righteous, judgemental, nor proud. Love is eternal. St Paul makes it clear that love is more important than the working of miracles. St Paul also warns us as Christians not to criticise one another, to be united. In fact, Christ himself wanted us to be one Church - and not divided amongst ourselves. It was one of his last prayers to his tiny flock two thousand years ago. How many of us remember his humble prayer for unity?



Instead of memorising Scripture and then professing to be "perfect believers and interpreters" of God's holy words, we should more importantly be forgiving to one another, regardless of race, language and religion -instead of perpetually stirring hatred against one another because of doctrinal beliefs which may for all we know be completely erroneous. The doctrines and philosophies of man, even if they claim to be from the Bible, can be wrongly interpreted. Any fool can make statements and claim to know God!

We should all look at the historical facts during Martin Luther's time. Hatred of the papacy and hatred of the Jews was also Luther's gravest sins - and despite his love of God - it contradicts him in many ways. Luther hated the Jews because they did not convert to Christianity in his time, because they did not believe in Jesus as their Messiah. His hatred was unbiblical. It is for God to judge the Jews, not for Luther or the Catholic Church for that matter.

Luther's hatred for the pope of his time is understandable, for Pope Leo was a corrupt and foolishly misguided man. He made the issue of papal infallibility a non-issue. Thankfully however, his belief in indulgences was later repudiated by the Catholic Church in 1545 at the Council of Trent. But how many Protestants know of this? Do they really care about this historical fact? Many still think Catholics sell indulgences today apparently!

It should be noted too that Pope John Paul 11 signed a concordance with the Lutheran Church in Germany before he died, both sides agreeing that faith has to be supported by acts - hence ending 500 years of bitter denominational differences in part at least. It is now for us as fellow Christians to try to concentrate on being less hypocritical and judgmental, and more forgiving to one another. Only God has the authority to judge who goes to heaven and who does not - and which Church follows the Bible more truthfully. It's as simple as that.

Protestants may argue about the origins of the Catholic Church, but it was St Peter himself who chose Linus as his successor in AD 66 before he died. St Peter, the "rock" upon which Jesus founded the Church. Without hallowed halls or grand basilicas. From Linus, the next popes were chosen, all in a continuous line, right up to Pope John Paul 11 - 2,000 years of unbroken history! Many were saintly men of God who did their best to preach the word of God. It was due to their efforts largely that the whole of Europe became Christian. If the popes were anti-Christ, what was the logic of converting the pagan tribes of old Europe, and defending the Catholic Church against the idol worship of the early pagans like the Visigoths? What was the purpose in building cathedrals in Europe? It doesn't make sense historically, theologically or even logically! The early Catholic saints, when persecuted by the Roman Emperors before the Roman Empire fell all died for Jesus Christ, and for the glory of his kingdom. None died for the Virgin Mary, and none died for their popes! So when Protestants insist that Catholics worship the Pope or the Virgin Mary as idols, they may wish to remember this - and perhaps look at the history of the early Catholic Church. St Augustine gave us a life of debauchery for God - and he promoted the philosophy of Jesus Christ in his writings - not the philosophy of the pope of his time.

Martin Luther was not againt the veneration of Mary - what he was against was putting Mary above Jesus - and he warned against giving too high a place to the Virgin Mary. He believed Mary should be honoured, because it was from her womb that Christ was born. Protestants today seem to despise the Virgin Mary. Is this theologically correct?

What is the difference between veneration and worship? The Chinese have an ancient custom. They venerate their ancestors. They honour them. They believe that they should not despise their parents. They believe in filial piety.

It is when we bow down and worship a statue of gold or wood or marble or clay - an idol that has no power - that real idolatry comes into the picture. It is when we dabble with the occult and promise to serve an idol and abandon God or his teachings - and serve the Devil - and ask for his favours - that true idolatry - which is actually demon possession at its worst - can be said to have intruded into our life. Not veneration of the Virgin Mary surely.

The life of subsequent popes who promoted God after Luther brought the Church back to its original focus, to preach the Word of God. The life of the great Pope John Paul 11 itself clearly shows that Luther was wrong insofar as he believed that the pope was the Anti-Christ, insofar as he believed that Rome was Great Babylon. Rome is not Great Babylon. Maybe in some ways Moscow and communism was anti-Christ. Moscow is after all, like Rome, built on seven hills. But Russia is no longer communist, and cannot be perenially considered 'Babylonian.' With the fall of Iraq, we may in fact be witnessing the fall of the true Great Babylon. Iraq is historically Babylonia. And the Babylon of old did persecute the Jews and destroy the temple of Solomon. Is this the vengeance of God we are witnesssing today?

Protestants often speak of the greatness of Luther and the idolatry of Catholics. But they have to be open minded and consider the weaknesses of Martin Luther itself - and what idolatry is all about.

Luther hated the Jews. It's a simple historical fact, based on his own writings.

In his pamphlet, "The Jews and their Lies" - published in 1543, three years before his death, he wrote that Jewish synagogues should be set on fire, prayerbooks destroyed, rabbis forbidden to preach, homes "smashed and destroyed", property seized, money confiscated, and the Jews forced into slave labour or expelled for "all time." He despised them, and was the first theologian to be also anti-Semitic in the extreme. It is dangerous when a man who claims to receive visions from God, who claims there is corruption in the Church, to be so filled with dubious beliefs himself. How can he enlighten the Church, which he also hates? How can be bring the Church to a greater theological renaissance, if he is so possessed of hatred for both the Church he lives in, for the chosen race of the Bible, the Jews? What was the message of Jesus Christ? Hatred for Jews? Or "unconditional love" for all? Judgementalism and bigotry - or faith and acts of love and charity, across all boundaries?

In fact, Hitler and the Nazis used this anti-Semitic belief of Luther to justify the Holocaust in World War 2. Hitler called Luther a 'great protaganist' and goaded the Germans into obliterating the Jews, conditioning them to believe that their great religious leader Luther "sanctified" Jewish obliteration. The Germans, blinded by the perverse genius and oratorical skills of Hitler, believed him. The Holocaust took place. All because of one man's blind hatred of the Jews, and another megalomaniac's ability to captivate his people into believing in this diabolical deceit.

So Luther was not a great lover of the Jews. His belief in their necessary extermination must be held partly responsible for Hitler's justification of the Jewish extermination. Rightly or wrongly,
Luther justified it. One only has to look at a misguided Pope Leo X, and a very racist anti-Semitic Adolft Hitler to see who is the "preferable anti-Christ." Pope Leo X, despite his intellectual languour, never called for the extermination of God's chosen race. Luther did. And his views of the Jews, resurrected from obscurity during the last century by Hitler, nearly obliterated the entire Jewish population of Europe.

Thankfully, some good came out of it. The Jews clamoured for a return to their original homeland - and in 1948 - Israel became theirs. Without Hitler's persecution, it might not have happened.

Hatred of any race is anti-Christ, and anybody who is consumed by hatred, eithr of a race or a denomination, cannot claim to be speaking for God or for the Messiah. It is a ludicrous way of justifying one's sins. And it is a sin to hate. It's as simple as that. You don't need a theological degree to understand the incongruity of it all.

Jesus Christ promoted two basic beliefs : unconditional love - firstly to God, and then to our neighbour, which means practically everybody we meet. He never promoted racism or chauvinism. He never promoted anti-Semitism. How could he? He was a Jew himself. He was against the self-righteousness of the Pharisees and the Saducees. He hated judgementalism. The story of Mary Magdalene, the adulterer who was nearly stoned to death by self-righteous Jews for her sins illustrates this clearly. 'Let the one who has not sinned cast the first stone.' Anybody who takes pride in casting judgement on others, [even if they sin], is not of God, and cannot speak of God. It is for God to judge, not sinful men. And no man, not even Luther, not even the saintliest pope of his time, can claim to judge on God's behalf. It's as simple as that.

So was Luther acting like a little Pharisee in judging the Pope, calling him the Anti-Christ - and condemning the Jews, as if he were God himself?

I leave the reader to look at Luther's original writings in a more balanced and open way. Martin Luther, despite his genius, was no saint either. He was full of flaws and bigotry. But his words have all been translated from the original German and can be historically proven to be true. The dates can also be verified. So there's no dispute on what he said at all. The dispute is only whether all he said was perfectly true, or inspired by God.

It is not as far as I am concerned.
Much of what Luther said was in fact contradictory and against the spirit of love and forgiveness that the Bible teaches. The hatred Luther had for the pope and the Jews has come down the centuries. Surely, Jesus Christ would not want us to hate the Jews. Surely he wouldn't want the Protestants to hate the Catholics.

It is againt his philosophy of unconditional love for our neighbour!

What many people also do not realise is that Martin Luther himself sinned in many ways. He took out the epistle of St James, calling it 'an epistle of straw' - for a simple reason. It went against his central philosophy - 'justification by faith alone.' Luther believed that faith alone could save. He was wrong. St James makes it abundantly clear that faith without works [or action] is dead. One's faith must be validated by one's actions - be it love, acts of mercy, prayer and a life of kindness and goodness, not one of debauchery or deceit. Hence, St James was a threat. Well, I leave the reader to decide between St James, who died a martyr incidentally, and Luther, who died naturally, who loved God more, and whose words reflect the genuine spirit of the Bible.

The book of Revelations makes it clear that anybody who takes out books or chapters or even a verse from the Bible will bring on himself the wrath of God. Luther took out an entire book! So when Protestants go around condemning the Catholic Church for idolatry and all kinds of historical sins - they may want to first look at the beam in the eye of their beloved patron - Martin Luther. Hatred against Jews, throwing out a canonical book of the Bible, proclaimaing the pope as anti-Christ - and eventually breaking his vow of celibacy to marry a nun - Cathyrina von Bovra - were these "acts of God" - or the sins of a great man - who despite himself could not remain completely sinless himself. Can such a man then judge an entire Church, and hope history will not find out the flaws of his so-called theological beliefs one day. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, not hate and its roots, division, bigotry, war.

Perhap Mother Teresa best embodied the true spirit of the Catholic Church. A good but simple understanding of the Bible, and living out its true meaning in action. Serving the poor, seeing the image of Christ in the lowliest of God's people, the lepers of society, and forgiving everybody who wronged her.

So was Martin Luther a false prophet or a saint?

I will leave the reader to judge for himself.

I will not condemn Luther completely. Whatever sins he had, he was still a man who desired to know God fully and serve him as much as he could. His thorn of the flesh was lust, which he himself acknowledged several times. But Luther need not have worried. God has not called us to be sinless completely. It is impossible for the majority of mankind.

God only calls us to do one thing : to love one another "unconditionally" as Jesus did. To love "unconditionally" is to love without conditions - to give of oneself not just to one's race or dialect group exclusively - but to love all those who come our way - not to convert to Christianity. Conversion is a complex and long process. To cultivate a friendship with the sole desire to convert a person and then abandon him, is a deceptive way of conversion. To convert by fear, ie. to say that one will go to hell if one is not a Christian is also not quite right. Who has gone to hell and seen what hell is? This kind of conversion is a primitive one. To convert by condemning another sect or denomination and accusing it of false doctrine is also wrong. All denominations have strange and ambiguous beliefs created by man, sometimes dating back centuries. We have to evolve and remain close to the spirit of the Bible, if we are to remain relevant in the modern age. Tradition cannot supplant Biblical truths, and if found wanting, should be dispensed with eventually. One man's vision cannot and should not deviate from the context of the Bible and focus narrowly on a single word to embody a new theology of bigotry or hatred towards another denomination. It is perverse.

We can only convert the world by love - by acts of kindnes, and especially by acts of forgiveness, by gentleness, and kindness. Pope John Paul 11 did it during his long papacy, making peace with the former enemies of the Church - the Lutherans, the Muslims, the communists. And he did it not by judgementalism. He asked for forgiveness for the past sins of the Catholic Church.

We should all learn from his magnificient example. It was his moral and spiritual strength that gave the Polish people the courage to shake off the yoke of communist Russia. Communism fell in Poland largely because the Poles knew that with a Polish pope, Russia could not invade Poland without international outrage.

So was Luther right? He was in many ways - but mainly in his desire to see the end of the sale of indulgences. What many Protestants do not understand is this : the sale of indulgences was discontinued after the pope and his cardinals met at the Council of Trent in 1545 subsequently.

Today, Catholics do not buy indulgences to enter paradise. Protestants will have to understand why Luther took out the book of St James to justify his theory of 'justification by faith alone' theory. Interestingly, the Catholic Bible says 'justification by faith' by St Paul. The German bible as translated by Luther puts it as 'justification by faith alone.' Luther cleverly inserted the word 'alone' so that the necessity of action to substantiate faith was unnecessary. Luther was wrong to do that. But I leave the Protestants to look at Luther with an open mind today. Too much hatred has been spawned by religious bigotry - and we should all put an end to this name-calling and concentrate on just one thing : "unconditional love" and also look at the history of how the Protestant church had its roots.

Neither the Protestant churches nor the Catholic Church of today can claim to be superior. We both have our strengths and in these darks days of terrorism, should in fact be working and praying together as brothers in Christ, instead of taunting one another, without any idea of what happened in 16th century Europe. Ignorance may be bliss, but not in this case I'm afraid.